Thursday, April 22, 2010

To India and Back



March 6, 2006
Agra, India






February 8, 2010 -- Aurangabad, India

Four years ago, Mike and I last visited the subcontinent. You can see us in front of the Taj Mahal, fairly newly wed, Mike looking gaunt after a bout of white-guy-in-India disease.

Four years later, we are with my parents in Aurangabad, where the last of the Mughal emperors died, and the "Baby Taj" built by his son for the late empress is the only memorial there for the once-vast empire. Mike and I try to recreate our original pose, but I can't remember whether I'd been on the right or the left.

Not that it matters -- we realize that anyone looking at the photo will only be looking at the little person in between us.

In 2006, Mike had been THE center of attention all over India -- whether it was my family commenting on his handsome features, his primitive Bengali, his love of hot chilies, or his appetite for sweets, or village children chasing him ("Sahib! Sahib! Give me one pen!"). In 2010, Rohan outperformed Mike in his ability to attract people with cameras, schoolkids, waiters in restaurants, you name it.

And to the family? Though still a great guy, Mike is Old News. Rohan met both great grandmothers and hordes of aunts and uncles, in general jumping into the arms of anyone who would either take him outside, let him climb stairs, or enable him to touch fascinating items/animals. Rohan quickly got used to India's rhythms, and VERY used to having his grandparents at hand 24/7.... we couldn't have made the trip without my parents for sure.

That's the summary of our two weeks -- but in India, the beauty is in the details. Visit our photo pages to meet our family and see highlights of Delhi, Kolkata, Aurangabad, oodles of ancient cave temples, and Mumbai.

And a few excerpts from my diary can help fill in the blanks:

January 31, 2010:
"What saved the plane trip was the bassinet. Obviously useless for Rohan sleeping, but a place of novelty, refuge, exercise, and independence. Mike did a lot of the "up-and-down" from the bassinet game."

February 1, 2010:
"We walked in Karol Bagh [the Delhi neighborhood we stayed in] with R. in the backpack. His reactions to most things were 'Whoa!'. Such things included:
  • Lorries blaring down tiny streests
  • Stray dogs running
  • Roosters/hens in alleyways and on roofs of corrugated tin
  • Roadside goats
  • Cycle-powered carts carrying immense cargoes
Mike shakes his head, seeing a man carrying a pickaxe while texting on his Nokia. Things have changed in 4 years."

February 5, 2010:
"Dimmoni [my grandmother] had directed M&B to get Rohan a toy. To check for leaks, Bapik decided to inflate the giraffe in the parking lot. Fate would have it that [family friends] happened to encounter them in the midst of giraffe-inflation. Because the giraffe is spotted, Rohan calls it 'Moo.' Dimoni was pleased by the giraffe. Photos were taken with everyone, including Shima [the nurse] who made sure the giraffe was in the picture."

February 8, 2010:
"Our sendoff meal from Kolkata was one of [my aunt's] best. Mike cleaned his plate and even deboned his own fish. India transforms anyone."

February 9, 2010:
"Ajanta will live in infamy because of the papparazzi chasing Rohan. Our guide, Mr. Joshi, asked if we planned to put a black mark on Rohan to ward off the evil eye. I laughed at the suggestion, until my mother admitted that she had already bitten Rohan's little finger to achieve the same effect. One curious trend, or lack of trend, is the diversity of ages, classes, and marital status of people fawning over Rohan. Certainly teenage girls -- but also a fair share of single men, older men, little boys. At times, a nucleating effect at work."

February 11, 2010: (Mumbai)
"I can't imagine living without ever seeing the three massive faces of Shiva at Elephanta. Lined with a long-lost humanism, the faces are alive."

"While Rohan slept in Mike's lap, we explored Gandhi's room in Mumbai, where Gandhi learned to spin cotton. We saw the books he read, the letters he wrote to FDR, Tolstoy, Hitler. He owned about 16 objects. I will aspire to this level of detachment when I am old."

February 12, 2010:
"At the legendary Trishna restaurant, Mike and I had a dinner of springy, fresh king prawns in hot black garlic sauce, a stroll through the Kala Ghoda arts festival. Then despite a bad cab driver abandoning us in the "Muslim Electronics Neighborhood' we got to watch most of Three Idiots at the Alankar Cinema. Three Idiots and Three Cheers for grandparents babysiting."

February 13, 2010:
"As the trip wears on, Rohan becomes more and more attached to his Dimoni and Dadan. Bapik spoils him, taking him up and down stairs, to see pigeons at Gateway of India, feeds him breakfast. Mike jokes that we need to make a Bapik-mask so that we can wear it and have Rohan eat for us."

"A 2-day escape to Matheran hill station, to avoid the Mumbai opening of the controversial film My Name Is Khan. Threats of Shiv-Sena violence dominate the news. Cinemas are heavily guarded, TV crews line the Regal next to our hotel. So we take the narrow gauge rail to Matheran. Rohan leans out the windows to see the locomotive and the valley falling away beneath us."

February 14, 2010:
"Underneath the gazebo in the park in Colaba, we played Pop Goes the Weasel (Rohan hides behind the pillar and jumps out saying 'Pop'). An 8-year-old Muslim boy played with Rohan, and his uncle explained to Mike that he had a little brother Rohan's age at home."

"That evening we spent in Pawai, at Uncle Shubhai's apartment. My cousin Tin Tin is now 13, and plays soccer. Rohan was excited enough by their picturesque flat, fireworks from a nearby wedding, soccer balls, Tin Tin's guitar playing, that he stayed awake until our plane boarded at 2:30 AM!!"

February 20, 2010:
"Recovery. I return to Millipore Marcom to find major restructuring. [My boss] laid off [the other scientific writer]. I'm now alone."

I add this last entry to explain a bit of why I'm writing this ultra-long synopsis of our trip, 2 months after it's over. And I already can't wait to go back.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Ho, Ho, Ho!

What do these 4 beings have in common?












ANSWER: According to Rohan, they all say, "Ho, Ho, Ho."
At an early age, he has completely grasped the Christmas spirit.

Rohan first encountered a Santa Claus in the CVS drugstore nearby, sometime around Thanksgiving. Soon afterwards, we got our Christmas tree (long-needled pine as always) and decorated it ("Ball! Alo! Ho, Ho, Ho!") One day, we had gone with some friends to our local garden center to see the train display, llamas and goats, and ex nihilo appeared a Live NBS (Naturally Bearded Santa for those without family members investing in Santa-rental companies.)

Rohan was wide-eyed with awe at seeing a breathing incarnation of the man he knew only to be a tree ornament. When Santa walked away to go take a break, Rohan chased him, saying, "Ho! Ho!"

Never having really believed in Santa, and being a poor liar, I am avoiding the Santa myth. But from the library, I brought a nativity book that Rohan read multiple times, often saying "Baby," as he pointed to Jesus in the manger.

Last year, I was mostly terrified every time I put myself in the shoes of Mary, probably crushed by the weight of the knowledge that her baby, probably drooling and saying, "ooo, ooo, ooo" a week past epiphany, was to be a Savior. This year, I felt stronger in the face of snow-covered nativity scenes on porches and lawns all around.

Jesus's Christmas vs. Rohan's Christmas
  • Jesus's visitors: shepherds, magi, animals
  • Rohan's visitors: 5 cousins, 4 grandparents, 6 aunts/uncles, countless family friends
  • Jesus's gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh
  • Rohan's gifts: toy vacuum cleaner, tricycle, books, blocks, + more
  • Jesus's dad built: probably something out of wood. Cradle would have been nice.
  • Rohan's dad built: a four-entrance cardboard box fort (see our photo gallery for a pic!)
Probably because of this last effort, Daddy (or "Dada") is now Rohan's favorite person, possibly superseding Santa. "Dada. Dada. Dada," he intones constantly. When he sees Mike, he escalates to a squeal of "DADA!!!!!"

Recently, however, two other people have been named "Dada" by Rohan, and here are the honorees of this title:



Yes, CK, this may be the only time in your life you'll be lumped with our commander-in-chief, so make the most of it.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Woof.

Now that Rohan has mastered walking, he has moved onto talking. His first word, sadly, was "Na," a word he hears every time he is forbidden to do something, which is unfortunately often. So, Rohan says "Na," not to indicate refusal, but to indicate that he knows what he's done/about to do is wrong.

Example: Rohan sees the off-limits remote control ( "Na!") or stops just before touching the bridge of my violin ("Na-nnna-nnna!"), or after he throws a toy (see video below).

Rohan learned his second word from our friend Franklin, whose amazing hospitality we enjoyed in San Francisco. Franklin frequently woofed at the old dog, Jasper, who was terrified of Rohan. Nevertheless, Rohan was fascinated by Jasper, and quickly learned to "woof."

Although we have no live dogs at home, Rohan has several soft toy dogs, including Franzapuppy, all of which say woof. So does the stuffed cat. Go figure.


The words Rohan has chosen to say truly express the level of interest in the named items:

"Ao" = alo (light/lamp), preferably streetlamp style, the bigger the better. Arlington has too many of these.
"Baa Baa" = Baa Baa Bedtime
"Buhbuh" = "Bubbles, Bubbles," a new favorite book, a gift from his friends the Verzis.
"Voom" = vacuum cleaner
"Vum (?)" = violin
"Baw" = ball
"Babbab" = bye-bye

More Firsts

Rohan had his first big Halloween party in what I hope will become a tradition. We invited about 20 people over and almost everyone could make it. Next year we will have to be more strict about the dress code. Everyone needs a costume to enter. Just kidding. Thanks again to everyone who could come and especially to all the adults who showed up in costume. Rohan, Chandreyee, and I had a great time. Dressing up for Halloween makes me feel like we brought a bit of our adopted home, San Francisco, back with us. I hope that Rohan doesn't mind too much that his parents still haven't totally grown up. Below are just a couple of pictures from the party.


































This weekend (11/14/09) marks a big step in Rohan's education. He went bowling. This is more than just a simple game or pastime. To truly excel in bowling, you need to combine athletic ability, supreme fashion sense, and the ability to down a beer between frames. Well, Rohan will have to wait for the last part, but he's well on his way to a lifelong love of the game. Well done, Little Lebowski.




Thanks for listening,

Mike, Chandreyee, and Rohan (aka the Little Lebowski)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Running with strainers

Don't try this at home! Strainer is Rohan's favorite toy -- well, next to the vacuum cleaner. He's off, in his new sneakers, ready to catch butterflies, it seems.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Wake me up when September ends PART II

When I wrote a post with this title in 2008, I had no idea that one year later, the cumulative sleep deprivation would have resulted in serious memory loss. Once renowned for my accurate, detailed memory, I found myself holding only a vague recollection of Rohan's 1st birthday, hiking, or daily activities. After 2 weeks of repeating Rohan's sleep training, he started sleeping through the night about a week or two ago.

"Your memory has returned," groans Mike as I launch into another verse of "I'm a hippopotamus and I've got noodles on my back."

My memory returned just in time. Rohan has not only started walking (today, see video),
but he has also started to understand most of what we say. Being a person of words, I've found this the single most thrilling part of parenting since Rohan's birth. Early examples of understanding:
  • Kothai tomar juto? (Where are your shoes?)
  • Daddy-ke giye bolo, tomar dant majha hoye gachhe. (Go tell Daddy you're done brushing your teeth.)
  • Kothai tomar Baa Baa Bedtime? (Where is [your favorite book of all time???])



Back to September. Despite my fuzzy memory, it's still colored in all the warm hues of a New England early autumn, and Durga Puja season. To borrow from my friend SDF's tradition, I'll post here comparisons of last year's Puja and this year's:

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Photographs and Memories of the 1st Birthday

OK, it has been three weeks since Rohan's 1st birthday. That's long enough I guess to think about it and write something memorable and philosophical. Unfortunately, I have spent most of the intervening three weeks learning about data structures and algorithm analysis and reductive alkylation chemistry instead of reflecting on Rohan's big day. So I'll just give a recap and some big thank you's for various presents that we and Rohan have enjoyed. In summary, Rohan had a great time celebrating with his Dimoni and Dadan.

Dimoni made not one but two cakes. The first one was for me and was shaped like a football, my favorite sport, and featured realistic green coconut grass. Very Cool, but it was nothing compared to the cake she made for Rohan which was a series of stacked cake blocks and a top cake. And it had yummy sides of chocolate animals. I for one am glad that Dimoni decided to take cake decorating classes. I don't think we'll ever have to make a cake for Rohan's birthday. You can check it out yourself below.














And as if the cakes weren't enough, Dimoni and Bapik got Rohan a set of Duplo blocks and a lego table. I have to admit that I'm enjoying this gift as much as Rohan is. I actually like it when Rohan decides to play demolition derby with my planes, trains and other things that I make for him. I can't wait until he can build his own toys using his imagination, lego blocks were one of my all time favorite toys growing up, if you had enough pieces you could build whatever toy, spaceship, or robot that you wanted.

He enjoyed the wooden puzzle from Chris and Eileen, the pegboard gane from Jaemin and Soomin, his wagon from Nana, and the set of stacking cups from Aunt Susan and Uncle Nathan. Rohan was so excited about the stacking cups that he was going "uh, uh, uh" continuously until I could get the box open. And he plays with them pretty much every day. We used the wagon this weekend to go apple picking. Rohan had a great time riding and met a couple of new friends there as well as developing a taste for peaches. Chandreyee and I were so happy that we found another fruit that he likes. He has started off as a kind of weird kid: prefers broccoli to ice cream, doesn't like fruits or sweets, and has started to read material that is over the heads of most one year olds.


The fun times continued the next day when everyone went to the Boston Commons and Public Garden. It took 3 people to keep Rohan from jumping head long into the frog pond and we were unsuccessful in keeping him from crawling through the sprinklers at the tadpole playground. Luckily we had some extra clothes for him with us. The only bad thing that happened all weekend was when Rohan was bonked by one of the "make way for ducklings" ducks and gave him a bloody lip. OK, I know that they are inanimate objects, but I will always be a bit more careful around them now. It was very sad for Rohan to have to say goodbye to Dimoni, but with Chandreyee's webcam working again, she is just a phone call away.

Thanks everyone for your gifts, cards, and especially for your thoughts of Rohan on his special day. We wish you a wonderful start to the fall season.

Mike